Divorce Mediation: Fact And Fiction

Law Blog

If you are getting a divorce, odds are pretty high you are not going to agree on everything – if you do, you probably wouldn't be getting divorced. While you will probably hire an attorney to help with the legalities once you have everything settled, you may want to consider using a mediator to get there. Divorce mediation has had a lot of misinformation spread about it. To help you better understand why you should go with a mediator, here are some of the myths and the facts about the practice.

Myth: Mediators Try to "Save" Your Marriage

Some couples are afraid of using a mediator because they do not want to have to go through the different "games" suggested to try in an attempt to save the marriage. They are not concerned with the "whys" for the divorce. They may have already tried to fix, forgive, and forget the problems within the relationship and just want it to end.


Although some mediators have studied and may have a degree, in mental health, they are not marriage counselors. While they are efficient at keeping the two of you from engaging in a shouting match by steering the conversation, they only aim at finding a seasonable resolution to ending the marriage and dividing assets.

Myth: Lawyers and Judges Will Just Redo All the Work Done by a Mediator

Couples want to be sure that when they get to the judge, their lawyers are not going to try and make different arrangements for the way they have arranged to deal with children, assets, and any support required. These couples feel only a lawyer can know what is going to be legally accepted by the judge.


Many times, when a couple cannot come to an agreement on the settlement of marital assets, a judge will order they see a divorce mediator. A mediator must be knowledgable about the different laws surrounding child custody and support, and the equitable dividing of assets. Having everything prepared before going to court makes the whole process easier. Lawyers are not fond of having to work with clients who are constantly arguing and fighting to the point where things turn mean and even violent.

Using a mediator often keeps things from getting ugly during a divorce. Since there are laws that determine who gets what and how to deal with children, the only thing the lawyers and judges are really concerned about are making sure these laws are upheld. A mediator works with you to reach agreements that are within the laws and still keep you both satisfied.  


18 May 2017